Youre Not Insane AU Karkat x Terezi Karkat x Gamzee
by LeHomestuckWriter
Summary: After Terezi's death Karkat cracks. Gamzee cant help him. Nobody can. That is until he bumps into her in a dream bubble


Gamzee Makara had never seen his moirail in such a state. Karkat had never been a stable one, but no one expected him to crack like this, not even Gamzee himself. No one knew he could have turned into an emotional wreck - but then she died. Ever since that day Gamz had swung his club to her head and killed her instantly, Karkat had spent all of his hours curled up in the corner, eyes wide open, his whole body shaking. None of them dared approach him. Nothing could replace the sickening feeling of guilt that had formed in the highbloods throat, a big lump of it had risen and stuck there, Gamzee's stability was okay - for now - Karkats tears when he saw her had snapped him out of it.

He knew Karkat would be seeing it over and over again, the teal blood sliding off of the purple bloodeds strife as he towered over her lifeless body. Gamzee knew what he had done, he just didn't know how to fix it, there was no bringing Terezi back now, it was far too late.

Slowly, Gamzee walked up to his broken friend, sitting down in front of his shuddering body and staring at him. Now Gamzee could hear that Karkat was muttering under his breath, inaudible things that he couldnt decifer. "Hey, uh, bro... Ya listenin?" Gamzee muttered, but the mutant didnt even respond to his presence. "I know youre motherfuckin hurtin... and I know that no motherfucking sorry of mine i gonna fix any of this shit." His voice was slow and calm, with a lacing of sadness and guilt. "But i dont know what to motherfucking say, bro, youve been sitting in this motherfucking corner for over three days now and, its getting a bit motherfucking scary."

Karkat's mutterings loudened as Gamzee talked, he was repeating the same three words. "All my fault."

Gamzee's face screwed up as a twinge of pain screwed up his throat. "None of this was your motherfucking fault, bro, this was all my motherfucking doing, okay?"

"All my fault. All my fault. All my fault." Karkat's head was bowed between his knees, his hands white with how hard he was grasping the back of his own head, his fingers gathering big chunks of his hair. "Terezi's gone. All my fault."

"Please, bro, you gotta motherfucking listen, youre going motherfucking crazy... you need to believe that i am to motherfucking blame, okay?" Gamzee insisted, reaching out and resting a hand on one of Karkat's arms.

Karkat, with a loud growl, flinched up and punched Gamzee square in the face, knocking the purple troll onto his back. He scrambled away quickly, his whole body still shaking. Gamzee stayed laying there, too guilty to even bother to go after his best friend, there was nothing to be done for Karkat, and he knew it - he was grieving and even Gamzee knew he just had to leave him to it.

**Karkats POV**

Karkat had eneded up lying down in a random corner of the meteor, images of Terezi's dead body flashing through his mind as he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep, to die, to vanish. He knew this was all his fault, he was the leader, he should have been wise enough to see how there kismesisitude wasnt working, he should have gotten Kanaya to auspistise between the two of them, but he wasnt smart enough to have thought of that. It was all his fault. All his fault...

He slipped into sleep after around ten minutes of lying on the cold floor, finding himself in a dream bubble. It was back on Alternia, at Terezi's hive, there were scalemates everywhere and he knew this one of the points on her timeline. There she stood, ajacent to him, her once red eyes were white, and she gave him one of her legendary grins - but there was a sadness behind it all. She knew everything and Karkat could tell she did. "I just want to say, its great to see you!" She said with a small, sad laugh.

Karkat stared at her with teary eyes. "Terezi, this is all my fucking fault." He muttered, his face turning to the ground and red tinted tears hitting the floor.

Terezi let out an audible sigh and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Karkat, dont blame yourself for this, okay?" She said, Karkat turned his head toward her. "If anything all of this me being dead this, this was mine and Gamzee's fault."

"I should have been a better leader! Instead I was a shit one who fucked up everything! I should have gotten someone to auspistise between you to or some fucking shit like that!" He yelled at her, but there was no anger in him now, as he looked through the glasses of the teal blood, he just felt broken. "This _is_ all my fucking fault!"

Terezi gave his shoulder a squeeze, but he didnt want to calm down, he wanted to let the suppressed emotions out, he didnt want to go any more insane. "Karkat, please, stop beating yourself up about it."

"I fucking cant!" I long sigh escaped him, his teeth grinding against eachother. "Terezi, loosing you is going to fucking kill me, okay?"

"Don't let it, Karkat, please."

He stared up at her, and she held his gaze, her arm still extended so her hand rested on his shoulder. It didnt feel alive, her hand, where it would have heated him a little, it just felt light and cold. "Terezi." He began. "I dont think you understand. I have flushed for you from the beginning, yeah, theres always been that nibbling side of fucking blackrom, but mostly all red, okay? To love the fucking one you love is like someone ripping your fucking heart out and stomping on it."

She frowned, her blank eyes tearing up. "I know... don't you think ive lost you too..." Her voice was caught between sobs.

"Im going fucking insane because of all of this..." He muttered.

She pulled him to her, pressing her cold body against his and squeezing. He wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Karkat, you're not insane." She muttered. "Just remember, Im always just a dream bubble away."

He buried his face in her neck. "Not insane, right."


End file.
